You are seeing the paginated version of the page.
It was specially created to help search engines like Google to build the proper search index.

Click to load the full version of the page

How to Change Your Life

Co-authored by Paul Chernyak, LPC

Updated: May 10, 2019

Explore this ArticleChanging Your CircumstancesChanging Your AttitudeChanging Your LookArticle SummaryQuestions & AnswersRelated ArticlesReferences

No matter how old you are, it's never too late to change your life for the better. Read this article to learn how to make changes on both the inside and outside to feel more fulfilled, happy, and at peace.

Method1
Changing Your Circumstances

  1. 1
    Change your routine. Remember that your reality is a result of the things you do on a daily basis, from what you eat for breakfast to where you go to work or school. If you're going to change your life's circumstances, you will have to change the things you do every single day.
    • Remember that you don’t have to change everything at once. Just trying one new change to your routine at a time can create progress. It can take a little time—66 days on average—for new habits to become second nature.[1]
    • Making even the smallest changes to your daily routine can help you feel less bored with life. For example, take a different route to work, eat something new for breakfast, exercise before school rather than afterward, or stop at a different coffee shop. Small changes like these may seem insignificant, but they will make your life more interesting in the long run by adding variety.
    • Ask yourself this question on a routine basis: Is what I am doing (or not doing) helping me get where I want to be? This applies to what you eat, whether or not you exercise, and what you spend the bulk of your day doing. If the answer is no, then make the necessary change.
  2. 2
    Examine your life's path. Whether you are in school, working, job hunting, volunteering, or traveling, take a look at your life and decide if it aligns with your values.
    • What are your passions, interests, and goals? While these questions may take years to answer, you can start by asking yourself what kind of legacy you want to leave behind. This question applies not only to your career but to your relationships as well. How would you like to be described and remembered by other people?
    • Determine whether or not your lifestyle is aligned with your personal values. Chances are, to some extent, your life and your values conflict. What could you be doing differently to help you reach your goals? You may want to consider changing your career path, changing your major, changing where you live, and changing the way you manage your time and money.
  3. 3
    Improve your relationships. No matter how much money you make or how great your accomplishments are, you will not be able to enjoy your success if you don't have loved ones to share it with.
    • Work on the relationships you already have. Be sure to spend quality time with loved ones, and treat them with compassion and understanding. If you have been neglecting or arguing with a loved one, then devote some time to reconciling the relationship. You must be willing to make compromises and even admit that you were wrong.
    • Make new, meaningful relationships with others. If you are feeling lonely, then you will have to stop waiting around for others to approach you. Take matters into your own hands, and get proactive. Put yourself in social situations, strike up conversations, and remember to always have a smile on your face. This is the best way to attract other people.
  4. 4
    Get out of your comfort zone. Some people are more prone than others to get stuck in the comfort of routine and familiarity. Regardless of your inhibitions or fears of change, humans need variety to be happy. You should practice this on a small scale on a daily basis as well as on a larger scale.
    • Try to do something you've never done every single day. Go to a show you've never been to, talk to a new person, eat something new, and so on. You never know when you'll discover something or somebody who will end up making a life-changing impact on you.
    • Pick up a new hobby or travel to a new place. If you play an instrument or a sport of any kind, push yourself above and beyond what you would normally do. Run that extra mile, take a different trail when hiking, and explore new artistic styles.
    • Seeking out new friends who like your hobbies can keep you engaged. Meetup.com is a great way to meet people in your area.

Method2
Changing Your Attitude

  1. 1
    Live in the present moment. The best way you feel happier about your life is to stop dwelling on the past and stop worrying about the future. If you find yourself constantly dwelling on negative memories, try the following exercise:
    • First, acknowledge the memory and how it makes you feel. If it was a recent incident and you feel the need to cry or scream, then do it. Consider writing about the event in a journal or talking about it with a loved one. Once you have properly grieved the memory, then admit to yourself that it is over, and nothing can be done to undo it. The next time the thought returns to your head, acknowledge it, be thankful that it is over, and let it go.
    • While it is impossible to forget the past completely, many people tend to focus on negative or traumatic memories rather than on the positive ones. Take some time to remember all the good things that have happened to you in the past. If it helps, make a list.
    • Try grounding techniques to bring yourself back to the present moment. Noticing things around the room that are a certain color or breathing deeply can calm you and focus your attention on the present.
  2. 2
    Be positive. No matter what you have, where you are, or who you're with, your perception of your circumstances is more important than the circumstances themselves. To put this into perspective, consider this fact: at any given moment, there are other people in the world who have less money, fewer resources, and fewer loved ones than you do, and yet they are happier. Similarly, there are people who are richer than you, in better shape, and with more resources, who feel less fulfilled than you do.
    • Get in the habit of noticing the positive aspects of whatever situation you find yourself in. If you find yourself complaining about what's going on around you, then counter each complaint you make with one or two positive observations.
    • Stop criticizing yourself and those around you . Again, everybody has both positive and negative qualities; this is a universal fact. If you constantly focus on the negative qualities of your spouse, for example, then those are what you will notice, and you will constantly feel frustrated and annoyed. In contrast, if you constantly remind yourself of the positive qualities of your spouse, then those are what you will notice, and you will feel appreciative and lucky.
  3. 3
    Don't compare your own life with other people's lives. Part of what makes people feel unhappy with their own lives is the comparison they make with the lives of those around them. The tendency is to compare the low points of your own life with the positive points of other people’s lives.
    • Let go of jealousy. Nobody's life is perfect, no matter how it may seem on the outside. If you find yourself being jealous of others for their money, their talents, or their relationships, remember that each and every one of these people has struggled with hardships and insecurities.
    • Minimizing your use of social media can help you stop comparing yourself to others. It may even make you feel happier. Take a break from Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter to clear your head for a few days.

Method3
Changing Your Look

  1. 1
    Get in shape. Exercising regularly not only keeps you looking your best, but it will also improve your cardiovascular health, reduce your likelihood for certain diseases, give you more energy, and even improve your sex life.[4]
    • Healthy adults need 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity each week.[5] Moderate activities include walking or swimming leisurely, while vigorous activities include jogging, kickboxing, or spinning.
    • You should do strength training of some kind at least two days per week.[6]Try lifting weights or doing floor work (crunches, push-ups, etc.) that use your own body as resistance.
    • Consider joining a gym or local sports team. Exercising with other people can help keep you motivated, and will make exercise more fun.
  2. 2
    Eat well. Remember that you are what you eat. Whether you want to lose weight or simply improve your overall health, what you eat matters.
    • Your diet should consist of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. Read food labels and stay away from foods that contain artificial coloring, aspartame, and other chemicals. Eat sugar and empty carbohydrates in moderation.
    • If you suffer from anxiety or depression, then cut down on alcohol and caffeine, as these substances will make matters worse.[7]
  3. 3
    Get a makeover. Makeovers aren't just about looking better, necessarily. The simple act of getting a haircut or buying different clothes can make you feel like a new person. Whether you're unhappy with your look or simply bored with it, try to mix things up.
    • Change your wardrobe. Get rid of clothes that make you feel frumpy, sloppy, or otherwise bad about yourself. Make an effort to look your best on a daily basis. This doesn't necessarily mean dressing fancy or formal; rather, find clothes that are figure-flattering, stylish (in your opinion), affordable, and age-appropriate.
    • Change your hairstyle. Get a haircut or dye your hair a different color. Women with long hair should consider getting layers, bangs, or a short bob.
    • Men can drastically change their appearance using facial hair. Try growing a beard, mustache, or goatee. If you are a man who has always had facial hair, try shaving it off for a change.

Community Q&A

  • Question
    How do I reach my goals?
    Licensed Professional Counselor
    Expert Answer
    Goals need to be specific and measurable. It helps to write down specifically what you plan to do and how you will measure your progress. The following acronym is useful for setting goals: SMART Specific. Measurable. Attainable. Relevant. Time Bound
  • Question
    How can I be happy and change my life? I feel miserable because I have no friends, no good relatives, little support system and no one to love. I often think of taking my own life.
    Licensed Professional Counselor
    Expert Answer
    First, figure out specifically what you want to change about your life.Then, figure out the obstacles that are in your way getting there. Finally, plan specific and measurable steps that you can take to achieve your goals. It's perfectly healthy to seek the help of a therapist or mental health professional to get you started. Please don't hurt yourself. There is lots of help available. Call the National Suicide Prevention hotline, if you are feeling hopeless.
  • Question
    Is changing a daily routine essential for a change in life?
    Community Answer
    Yes, because a change in life is basically changing your daily routine. if you find it hard to change your daily routines, start with small changes (such as, waking up a little earlier, eating on time or meeting up with friends) and work your way towards major changes.
  • Question
    How can I be stronger around my enemies?
    Community Answer
    Be the better person. You do not have to become friends with your enemies, but neither should you express your hatred to them. Be polite, and go on with your life.
  • Question
    Is getting a makeover essential for changing my life?
    Community Answer
    No, but it is one form of change that gives you a new feeling about your appearance and can boost your confidence. If you're already happy with this aspect of yourself, internal change is often far more beneficial.
  • Question
    How can I deal with people?
    Community Answer
    One trick is to be nice to everyone. Usually, people will respond kindly if you are nice to them.
  • Question
    How do I overcome sadness?
    Community Answer
    Sadness can be hard but it can also be a sign in your life that you need to mourn something lost or reflect over some aspect of your life that isn't working well. As such, overcoming sadness requires first accepting its role in your life rather than running away from it. It's not a bad thing, it's just a hard thing to deal with. You might like to read: How to Overcome Sadness.
  • Question
    How do I find mental stability and happiness?
    Community Answer
    Mediate or practice yoga to improve your mental stability. Stop associating your happiness with something "out there," like money, relationships or a career and appreciate just being alive. Dance and laugh as much as you can.
  • Question
    How do I keep up with the changes I've made?
    Community Answer
    Consistency is key. Put your changes into your everyday routine, and it'll become a second nature to you. Your brain absorbs everything, like a sponge. Once you've picked up a constant pace with your changes, your brain will also begin to pick them up.
  • Question
    What do I do if I am trapped in a situation?
    Community Answer
    Separate yourself from the situation by remembering that your life situation does not define you. Talk to someone close to you who will not judge you so you can see your situation from a different perspective and remember that bad times eventually pass.
Show more answers
Unanswered Questions
  • I feel dissatisfied all the day. It feels like I want to do something and chalk out how to do it, but eventually either because of procrastination or negative thinking, things never seem to work out. What should I do?
    Answer this question Flag as...
  • How do I be more open to people?
    Answer this question Flag as...
Ask a Question
Submit

Tips

  • Try to keep your life balanced between work and play. If all you do is work, then you are missing out on the joys in life. If all you do is play, then you will eventually grow bored and no longer appreciate the fun times.
  • Sleep early, wake up early. Do something creative with your early time; folding origami for your friend's kid, writing a short story on Wattpad or even go out for a run.
  • Consider finding a positive role model to look up to. This person may be a teacher, a family member, or your favorite writer, actor or musician. Having positive influences in your life can help you find the motivation to overcome obstacles and pursue your dreams.
  • Write down your day-to-day activities. Have a plan for every day, hour, and minute of your life. Remember to always change it up, and also, be spontaneous sometimes!
  • If you are married or in a long-term relationship where the magic is dying, then be vocal with your partner, and mutually decide on changes you can make to spice up your love life.
  • If you want to change your look and aren't sure how consider getting a stylist. Ask your hairdresser for advice on what styles would look best on you.
  • Make sure you are independent to survive alone rather than being dependent on another person.
  • Do what you want and don't let the noise of other's opinion drown out your own inner voice.
  • Try to like yourself and improve your self-esteem. Forgive and forget if possible. It's time to think about yourself, so do what you love and love what you do.

Related wikiHows

 
 
 
 
 
 
NOW Talk: Change is Life’s Only Constant
Original link
Change is your only constant | Trent Clark | TEDxHBU
Original link